It's a very cold day here on earth
Like the mirror of my soul reflecting the hurt
Burning tears and icy rain
Drench a suicidal pain
Being caused by the shame
Of blindness to my own game
Why I lied I'll never know
I turned my life into a show
That costs you nothing to get in
Come experience my pain
Come and scrutinize my shame
Become a pawn within my game
My game which has no end
It's a very dark place here in your mind
I can feel cold, dark eyes searching mine
If it's for truth you seek
You will find I am too weak
To admit the pain I'm in
Due to this unforgivable sin
Why I lied I'll never know
I've turned my life into a show
I pay now to please come in
And experience my pain
Scoff and spit upon my shame
You've become the one I hate
My only love, my only hate
Coldness surrounds me
Darkness overwhelms me
Why can't I feel my face
I am such a disgrace
Why do you stay here within me
When I spit upon your face
It's a very cold day here on earth
The only warmth that I can feel is my own blood
Burning blades and icy hate
I find that I cannot sedate
This life that blindly clings to me
Now I die, so now I'm free-
I'm free!
~Melissa S. Caniff
Author's note: This poem was actually turned into a song. The music is pure piano.
I wrote this song because of something terribly stupid I did that cost me
a very good friend and a relationship that could have someday been more.
I may never forgive myself for what I have done, but I have already learned
from the experience, so I suppose things will be alright.
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